Hello from the other side…

Words.

I don’t have too many of my own, right now, deep in process, I think, where the language of this work is unspoken. It feels more potent for me to steep myself in the good strong medicine of this time, rather than try to extract some kind of meaning for anyone. If balance comes after the pendulums swinging extremes, then hopefully this is about the still point slowly beginning to come into focus– the finding my way of it all. Summer was both confusing & illuminating for me; I am still sifting through it.  Did you know the Greek root of crisis means to sift? I learned this when I recently read This! beautiful book.

I haven’t made any decisions on whether or not I will blog again. I am still working on my book, though!  I’m taking a lesser break from that right now as well. What I can tell you is this time away from sharing feels important. What I can also tell you is that this blog has kept me connected when I thought I might float away, put me in contact with so many beautiful souls, helped me to come to terms with my loss, and given me a voice when I could not utter the words I needed to say out loud. I THANK YOU for reading and being and healing with me.

Anywho, since I’m technically on hiatus from the blogosphere and some of you have reached out to say you miss my posts,  I thought I’d say hi and also share some words that have resonated, given me goosebumps or were otherwise on fleek, as they say… Maybe you will find yourself amongst them as well.

‘grieve. so that you can be free to feel something else.’

 

‘Some words build houses in your throat. and they live there, content and on fire.”

 
‘Sometimes i want to say it. and there is nothing in english. that will say it.’

 
‘I have lost millions and millions of words to fear. tell me that is not violence’ 

 

–Nayyirah Waheed

“The journey is learning that pain, like love, is simply something to surrender to. It’s a holy space we can enter with people only if we promise not to tidy up.”

 

“I need to sit with the quiet. I know that much. It’s ok to feel too much and know too little.”

–Glennon Doyle Melton

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Published by: christinaryanstoltz

I write to touch the supple center of unguarded ache~ To release myself from the pressure of not knowing how to move forward from the unfathomable loss of my beloved son, my beautiful boy Isaac, to suicide, of not knowing how to release my grip on of the past, both the worshipping of it as well as the beating myself up for it, and letting go of the need to know what I could’ve done or what on earth I will do now. I write to heal.

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3 thoughts on “Hello from the other side…”

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